When a narcissist returns to an ex who is also a narcissist and an abuser, it's essential to understand that their motivations and behaviors can be quite complex and may vary from one individual to another. However, there are several potential reasons why a narcissist might choose to return to such a toxic relationship:
Familiarity and Comfort: Narcissists often crave familiarity and may be drawn back to a previous partner due to the comfort of the known, even if that familiarity involves abuse and toxicity.
Supply and Control: Narcissists seek narcissistic supply, which is the attention, admiration, and validation they crave to bolster their self-esteem. They may return to a previous partner who is also a narcissist because they understand each other's games and can provide a steady source of supply.
Codependency: In a relationship between two narcissists, codependency can develop, where both individuals feed off each other's emotional needs and vulnerabilities.
Power Struggles: In a narcissistic relationship, power dynamics can be significant. When two narcissists are involved, they may vie for control and dominance, leading to a cyclical pattern of breaking up and reconciling.
Shared Traits and Worldviews: Both individuals may share similar narcissistic traits, defense mechanisms, and worldviews, which can create a strong bond that is difficult for outsiders to understand.
Children and Family: If there are children involved, one or both narcissists might return to the relationship to maintain control over the children or to use them as tools for manipulation.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Narcissists often lack self-awareness and insight into their behavior. They may not recognize that the relationship is toxic or may rationalize their actions to avoid facing their own flaws.
Fear of Abandonment or Loneliness: The fear of being alone or abandoned can drive a narcissist to return to a familiar, albeit abusive, relationship.
It's essential to note that while some narcissists may return to an abusive ex-partner, not all narcissists behave the same way. Each individual's personality, history, and motivations can influence their actions.
Regardless of the reasons for their behavior, it's crucial for anyone caught in such a toxic relationship to seek support and professional help. Breaking free from a cycle of abuse and narcissism can be challenging, and therapy or counseling can provide valuable guidance and tools for healing and establishing healthier relationship patterns.