When a covert narcissist says, "I want to make you proud of me," it's essential to understand the underlying motivations and dynamics behind this statement. Covert narcissists are individuals who possess many of the same traits as traditional narcissists but tend to be more subtle in their expressions of grandiosity and entitlement. They may present themselves as sensitive, self-sacrificing, or even shy, which can make them harder to detect.
When a covert narcissist says they want to make you proud of them, it could be a manipulative tactic used to gain admiration, validation, or control over you. Here are some possible interpretations of this statement:
Seeking validation: Covert narcissists have a fragile self-esteem, and they crave validation and praise from others. Expressing a desire to make you proud is an attempt to receive positive feedback and admiration from you.
Emotional manipulation: By stating their desire to make you proud, a covert narcissist may be trying to evoke a specific emotional response from you. They want to position themselves as vulnerable or seeking your approval to gain emotional leverage over you.
Controlling behavior: Covert narcissists often engage in manipulative behaviors to control others. Expressing a desire to make you proud might be an attempt to get you to invest more in the relationship and to influence your decisions and actions.
Projection of their needs: Sometimes, covert narcissists project their own unmet needs onto others. They might desire others to be proud of them because deep down, they are trying to fulfill their own need for self-worth and validation.
It's important to be cautious when dealing with a covert narcissist and to recognize manipulative tactics. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and genuine care for each other's well-being. If you suspect you are dealing with a covert narcissist, setting and maintaining clear boundaries, seeking support from friends or a therapist, and focusing on your own emotional well-being are essential steps to protect yourself from potential manipulation and emotional harm.