In the context of narcissistic abuse, a "flying monkey" is a term used to describe a person who willingly or unwittingly supports or enables the narcissist in their manipulative behavior. The term originates from the flying monkeys in the "Wizard of Oz" who do the bidding of the Wicked Witch of the West.
An example of a flying monkey in the context of narcissistic abuse could be a close friend or family member of the narcissist who, either knowingly or unknowingly, becomes an ally in the narcissist's attempts to control and manipulate the victim. The flying monkey might:
Spread Rumors and Gossip: They may spread false information about the victim, further damaging their reputation and causing emotional distress.
Act as a Go-Between: The flying monkey might relay messages from the narcissist to the victim, trying to coerce or guilt-trip the victim into complying with the narcissist's demands.
Gaslight and Invalidate: They may dismiss the victim's concerns, feelings, or experiences, making the victim doubt their own reality and making it easier for the narcissist to maintain control.
Intervene in Relationships: Flying monkeys might try to sabotage the victim's relationships with others, isolating them and making them more vulnerable to manipulation by the narcissist.
Protect the Narcissist: They may defend the narcissist's actions, making excuses for their behavior, or downplaying the harm caused.
It is important to note that flying monkeys are often not inherently malicious but may be acting out of their own loyalty to the narcissist or fear of becoming the target themselves. In some cases, flying monkeys may be manipulated and deceived by the narcissist themselves.
Dealing with flying monkeys can be challenging for the victim of narcissistic abuse, as they can feel surrounded and overwhelmed by people who seem to support the narcissist. Recognizing these dynamics is crucial for victims seeking to break free from the abusive relationship and establish healthier boundaries. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in navigating these complex interpersonal dynamics and healing from the effects of narcissistic abuse.