When a narcissist realizes they have lost someone forever, their reactions can vary depending on the individual's personality and coping mechanisms. Here are some common behaviors a narcissist might exhibit:
Hoovering attempts: Narcissists are known for their ability to "hoover" or try to suck people back into their lives, even after a breakup or loss. They might use manipulation, guilt-tripping, or love-bombing to try to regain control over the person they lost.
Seeking revenge: Some narcissists may respond with anger and seek revenge if they feel rejected or abandoned. They might try to harm your reputation, spread rumors, or engage in other destructive behaviors to hurt you emotionally.
Playing the victim: Narcissists may portray themselves as the victim to elicit sympathy from others or to make you feel guilty for leaving them. They may try to make you doubt your decision to distance yourself from them.
Discarding and devaluation: If they feel you are no longer a source of narcissistic supply (admiration, attention, validation), they might devalue you and discard you altogether. This is especially true if they find a new source of supply or someone they believe is more beneficial to their self-esteem.
Moving on quickly: Narcissists often have a pattern of jumping from one relationship to another. They might appear to move on rapidly to mask their feelings of rejection or to bolster their ego.
Idealizing new sources of supply: When a narcissist loses someone, they may fixate on finding a new person to idealize and put on a pedestal. This new target will become the focus of their attention until the cycle of devaluation and discard begins again.
Denial and deflection: Some narcissists may refuse to accept that they have lost someone or might deflect blame onto the other person, refusing to take responsibility for their actions that led to the loss.
It's essential to remember that narcissistic behavior is deeply rooted in their personality disorder, and their reactions are often not based on genuine emotions or empathy. If you've decided to cut ties with a narcissist, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being, set firm boundaries, and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Narcissistic relationships can be emotionally draining and harmful, so taking care of yourself is crucial during this period of separation.