In the context of dealing with a narcissistic individual, "hoovering" refers to the manipulative tactic of trying to draw a previous partner or victim back into a relationship or interaction. It's named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner because the narcissist attempts to "suck" the person back into their life.
The absence of hoovering does not necessarily mean that the narcissist doesn't want you anymore. It could mean several things:
New Source of Supply: The narcissist may have found a new source of narcissistic supply, someone else who provides them with the attention, validation, and admiration they crave. They might be focused on this new person and no longer see the need to hoover you.
Discarding Phase: Narcissists go through cycles of idealization, devaluation, and discard. If you are in the discard phase, the narcissist may be ignoring or avoiding you as part of their devaluation process.
Silent Treatment: Narcissists frequently use the silent treatment as a means of punishment and control. They might be giving you the silent treatment to manipulate you or to see if you'll chase after them.
Timing: The absence of hoovering could be temporary. Narcissists often have cyclical behaviors, and they may attempt to hoover you again at a later time.
Shifting Attention: Narcissists can be impulsive and easily shift their attention to different targets. They might be focusing their energy on something or someone else at the moment.
It's crucial to remember that hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to regain control and ensnare their victims back into their web of manipulation. While the absence of hoovering might bring temporary relief, it is generally not a sign that the narcissist has changed or is no longer interested in manipulating you.
If you have experienced a relationship with a narcissist, it's essential to focus on your healing and well-being. Setting boundaries, seeking support from loved ones or a therapist, and engaging in self-care can be helpful in recovering from the emotional aftermath of such a relationship. Remember that you deserve healthy, respectful relationships and should prioritize your mental and emotional health.