After discarding their victims, narcissists may engage in a variety of behaviors that can be hurtful and manipulative. It's important to note that not all narcissists will follow the same pattern, as their actions can be influenced by various factors, such as the specific type of narcissistic personality disorder they have and the dynamics of their relationships. However, some common post-discard behaviors of narcissists include:
Hoovering: Narcissists may attempt to "hoover" their victims back into the relationship after discarding them. They might use various tactics to regain control and manipulate the victim's emotions, such as love bombing (excessive affection and attention), promises of change, or even threats.
Gaslighting: Narcissists may continue to gaslight their victims, trying to make them doubt their own reality and sanity. They may deny past abusive behaviors, blame the victim for the relationship's failure, or portray themselves as the victim.
Smear campaigns: To damage the victim's reputation and isolate them further, the narcissist may engage in smear campaigns. They may spread lies or half-truths about the victim to friends, family, or mutual acquaintances.
Silent treatment: The narcissist may use the silent treatment as a means of control, cutting off all communication with the victim to elicit feelings of abandonment and desperation.
Devaluation: Even after discarding the victim, the narcissist might continue to devalue them indirectly, such as making disparaging remarks about them to others or displaying indifference to their well-being.
Replacement: Narcissists may quickly move on to new relationships or seek out new sources of narcissistic supply to fill the void left by the discarded victim. This behavior can further inflict emotional harm on the victim, causing feelings of rejection and inadequacy.
Attempted re-establishment of control: If the narcissist perceives that the victim is moving on or thriving without them, they may attempt to reassert control over their lives. This could involve intrusive behaviors, stalking, or harassment.
Gaining sympathy: Some narcissists may portray themselves as the victim in the situation, seeking sympathy and validation from others to feed their ego and maintain their false image.
It's crucial for victims of narcissistic abuse to seek support from friends, family, or professional therapists. Recovering from a relationship with a narcissist can be challenging, but with time, healing, and self-care, it is possible to rebuild self-esteem and establish healthier relationships.