Yes, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to hold grudges and harbor resentment long after a person has gone no contact with them. Narcissists have difficulty accepting rejection or abandonment, and their fragile egos can be deeply wounded when someone chooses to cut off contact or end the relationship. As a result, they may hold onto feelings of anger, bitterness, and a desire for revenge for an extended period, sometimes for years.
Here are some reasons why a narcissist may still be seething or holding onto negative emotions years after going no contact:
Ego Bruising: Narcissists have a grandiose self-image and expect others to admire and comply with their wishes. When someone goes no contact, it challenges their self-perceived superiority and can lead to feelings of humiliation and inadequacy.
Loss of Control: Going no contact represents a loss of control for the narcissist. They prefer to be in charge of the dynamics in their relationships, and losing control can be infuriating for them.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have a limited ability to empathize with others' feelings or perspectives. As a result, they may struggle to understand why someone would want to end the relationship and view the no contact decision as a personal attack.
Fear of Exposure: No contact can also mean the narcissist loses their primary source of narcissistic supply. They may be seething because they fear that the person they once manipulated and controlled could expose their manipulative behavior to others.
Narcissistic Injury: When confronted with criticism or rejection, narcissists often experience a phenomenon called narcissistic injury. This injury can lead to intense emotional reactions, including anger and a desire for retaliation.
Hoovering Attempts: Some narcissists may intermittently attempt to re-establish contact through hoovering, which is a manipulative tactic used to suck the person back into the relationship. When these attempts fail, it can further fuel their anger and resentment.
It's important to remember that narcissists' emotions and motivations are rooted in their personality disorder, and their reactions are not a reflection of the person who chose to go no contact. Going no contact is a healthy and necessary step for those dealing with a narcissist, as it allows them to protect their emotional well-being and break free from toxic dynamics.
If you have experienced a long-lasting reaction from a narcissist after going no contact, it's essential to continue prioritizing your well-being and not engage with or give in to their attempts to reconnect. Setting strong boundaries and seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be helpful in navigating the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissist.