While it is true that narcissists may often discard their partners without any intention of returning to the relationship, there are instances where they might come back or express regret for leaving. However, it's essential to understand that their motives for doing so are usually not genuine expressions of love or remorse. Instead, these actions typically stem from their narcissistic traits and a desire to maintain control over their ex-partner.
Here are some reasons why narcissists might return to their exes or express regret:
Narcissistic supply: Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply. Returning to an ex-partner can be a way for them to secure a new source of supply if they are unable to find it elsewhere.
Fear of abandonment: Narcissists may fear being alone or losing the attention and control they had over their ex-partner. Returning to the relationship is a tactic to reassert control and prevent the ex-partner from moving on.
Hoovering: Hoovering is a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to draw their ex-partners back into the relationship. They may shower the ex-partner with affection, promises of change, or gifts to lure them back.
Ego boost: Returning to an ex-partner may serve as an ego boost for the narcissist, reaffirming their power and control over the person's emotions.
Keeping options open: Narcissists often maintain a roster of potential partners to ensure they always have someone available to provide narcissistic supply. Returning to an ex-partner can be a way of keeping them as an option.
Retaining control: By rekindling the relationship, the narcissist can regain control over their ex-partner's emotions, decisions, and life, continuing the cycle of manipulation and abuse.
It's important to remember that any regret expressed by the narcissist is likely a manipulation tactic rather than genuine remorse. Their behavior is driven by a self-centered desire for validation and control, rather than a sincere wish to repair the relationship or address past wrongdoings.
If you have experienced a relationship with a narcissist, it's essential to focus on your own healing and well-being. Engaging in therapy or counseling can be incredibly helpful in understanding the dynamics of the relationship and building strategies for moving forward in a healthier way. Remember, it is not your responsibility to fix or change a narcissistic partner, and prioritizing your own emotional well-being is crucial.