Yes, a narcissist can love their own children and be involved in their lives to some extent. However, their love may be conditional and tied to how the children reflect on the narcissist's self-image or serve their needs. Narcissistic parents may view their children as extensions of themselves, seeking to control and manipulate them to meet their expectations and desires. They might show love when their children make them look good or provide a source of narcissistic supply (admiration, attention, etc.), but withdraw affection or become abusive when their children challenge their authority or independence.
Regarding romantic relationships, narcissists are capable of forming relationships and expressing love, but their love is often superficial and self-serving. In the beginning, they might idealize their partner and shower them with attention and affection. However, over time, their true nature tends to reveal itself. They may manipulate, exploit, and devalue their partner to maintain a sense of control and superiority in the relationship. The partner may feel like they are walking on eggshells, constantly trying to please the narcissist and avoid their anger or criticism.
In some cases, a narcissist might feel genuine attachment to their partner, but their behavior is still heavily influenced by their narcissistic traits, making it difficult to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Their lack of empathy and self-centeredness often create significant challenges in maintaining long-term, functional partnerships.
It's important to recognize that dealing with a narcissistic partner or parent can be emotionally draining and harmful to one's well-being. If you find yourself in such a situation, seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be helpful in understanding the dynamics and establishing healthy boundaries.