Covert narcissists, like other narcissistic individuals, have a profound sense of entitlement and a need for admiration and validation. They often lack empathy and struggle to take responsibility for their actions. There are several reasons why a covert narcissist may feel as if they don't need to apologize:
Fragile self-esteem: Covert narcissists have a fragile self-esteem and a deep fear of being exposed as inadequate or flawed. Apologizing would require them to acknowledge their mistakes or wrongdoings, which could shatter the carefully constructed image they have of themselves as perfect or superior. To protect their fragile self-esteem, they may avoid apologizing altogether.
Avoiding vulnerability: Apologizing can make a person vulnerable as it requires them to admit their errors and open themselves up to potential criticism or rejection. Covert narcissists are highly averse to vulnerability and may perceive apologizing as a sign of weakness. They prefer to maintain a facade of strength and infallibility.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists, including covert narcissists, have limited empathy for others. They may struggle to understand or acknowledge the emotional impact of their actions on others, making it challenging for them to recognize the need for an apology.
Manipulative tactics: Covert narcissists may resort to manipulation to maintain control and power in relationships. Refusing to apologize can be a tactic they use to avoid accountability and keep the other person off-balance, unsure of their own perceptions and feelings.
Sense of entitlement: Narcissists often have an inflated sense of entitlement, believing that they are special and deserving of special treatment. They may think that they are above the rules that apply to others, including the social norms of offering apologies when they have harmed someone.
Projection and blame-shifting: Instead of taking responsibility for their actions, covert narcissists may engage in projection and blame-shifting. They may twist the situation to make it appear as though they are the victims or that the other person is at fault, thus absolving themselves of the need to apologize.
It's important to understand that the lack of apologies from a covert narcissist is not a reflection of the victim's worth or value. It is a characteristic of the narcissistic personality disorder and the way narcissists protect their self-image. Dealing with a covert narcissist can be challenging, and seeking support from friends, family, or a qualified therapist can be beneficial in navigating such relationships and setting healthy boundaries.