It's important to recognize that each individual and relationship is unique, and generalizing about specific situations can be challenging. However, there are several potential reasons why your ex-narcissist might not be able to control his new girlfriend:
Personality dynamics: Every person has a unique personality, and the dynamics between two individuals in a relationship can vary significantly. The new girlfriend may have personality traits, boundaries, or coping mechanisms that make it more challenging for the narcissist to control her compared to his previous partners.
Awareness and experience: The new girlfriend may be more aware of narcissistic behaviors and manipulation tactics, having experienced or learned about them in the past. This awareness could make her less susceptible to the narcissist's attempts at control.
Strength and self-esteem: A person with higher self-esteem and a strong sense of self-worth may be less likely to tolerate manipulative behavior. The new girlfriend might have healthier boundaries and be less willing to accept mistreatment, making it difficult for the narcissist to control her.
Support system: If the new girlfriend has a strong support system of friends and family who are aware of narcissistic behavior, they may provide her with validation and support, which can help protect her from manipulation.
Stage of the relationship: It's possible that the relationship between the narcissist and his new girlfriend is still in the honeymoon phase or early stages, where the narcissist is putting on a facade of charm and idealization. As the relationship progresses and the novelty wears off, the dynamics may change.
Changing tactics: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and can adapt their tactics to suit different individuals and situations. If previous tactics didn't work with the new girlfriend, the narcissist might try different approaches to gain control.
Lack of full disclosure: You may not have complete information about the dynamics of their relationship. The narcissist may still be using manipulative tactics that are not immediately apparent to outsiders.
It's crucial to remember that narcissistic behavior is harmful and unhealthy in any relationship. While it might be tempting to compare the narcissist's behavior with his new girlfriend to the past, it's essential to focus on your own well-being and healing. If you've dealt with a relationship involving a narcissist, seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial for your emotional recovery. Additionally, avoid getting involved in your ex's current relationship or trying to intervene, as it may not be productive or healthy for you or the new girlfriend. Focus on your own growth and moving forward in a positive direction.