A narcissist might engage in such manipulative and hurtful behavior for several reasons, all of which stem from their dysfunctional patterns of thinking and relating to others. Here are some possible explanations for this behavior:
Seeking validation and control: Narcissists crave attention and validation from others. By inviting you over and then acting as though they weren't expecting you, they may be seeking to keep you off-balance and maintain a sense of control over the situation.
Triangulation: Narcissists often use triangulation as a manipulative tactic. By involving multiple people, such as having another woman in bed when you arrive, the narcissist can create jealousy, rivalry, and confusion among their targets, making them feel more powerful and in control.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the narcissist makes you doubt your own perceptions, memories, and sanity. By denying that they knew you were coming over, they may try to make you question whether you misunderstood the situation, even if you had clear communication.
Feeding their ego: Narcissists thrive on attention and feeling desired. Having multiple partners or engaging in promiscuous behavior can boost their ego and sense of self-importance.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists have a limited capacity for empathy and consideration of others' feelings. They may not care about the emotional impact their actions have on you or anyone else involved.
Devaluation and discard: In narcissistic relationships, there is a cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard. Inviting you over and then dismissing your presence with another woman can be part of this devaluation phase, where the narcissist aims to make you feel rejected and unworthy.
Manipulation for attention: Narcissists can be attention seekers, and engaging in dramatic or shocking behavior is a way to draw attention to themselves, even if it's negative attention.
It's important to remember that the behavior of a narcissist is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Their actions are a result of their own insecurities, emotional dysregulation, and need for control. If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist or encounter such behavior, it's crucial to prioritize your well-being and consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate the situation and heal from any emotional wounds.