Narcissistic parents have complex motivations, and it's important to remember that not all narcissistic parents will have the same desires or intentions. However, some common themes can be observed in their behavior:
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissistic individuals seek constant validation, admiration, and attention from others. They may see their children as an extension of themselves, and the child's achievements or successes may be used to boost the parent's self-esteem.
Control and Dominance: Narcissistic parents often want to exert control over their children's lives. They may view their children as objects to be manipulated and molded to fulfill their own needs and desires, rather than allowing them to develop their own identities.
Mirror or Idealized Self: Some narcissistic parents may see their children as reflections of their idealized selves. They may try to live vicariously through their children and push them to achieve the things they wish they had accomplished themselves.
Lack of Boundaries: Narcissistic parents might struggle to recognize and respect their children's boundaries, emotionally and physically. They may invade their children's privacy, disregard their personal feelings, and expect their children to cater to their needs unconditionally.
Emotional Fulfillment: Narcissistic parents may expect their children to provide emotional support, care, and validation to them, reversing the typical parent-child dynamic.
Maintaining the Image: Some narcissistic parents are preoccupied with maintaining a positive image in society. They might push their children to excel in certain areas to reflect well on the parent and create an illusion of a perfect family.
Source of Blame or Scapegoating: In dysfunctional families, the narcissistic parent may scapegoat one child and blame them for any problems or conflicts within the family, using them as a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
It's essential to recognize that these motivations and behaviors can be harmful to the child's well-being and development. Children of narcissistic parents often experience emotional and psychological challenges due to the toxic dynamic they have with their parent. If you suspect you or someone you know is dealing with such a situation, seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial in understanding and coping with the effects of narcissistic parenting.