When a narcissist perceives that someone is too strong or resilient for their manipulations and control, their reactions can vary based on their individual personality and the dynamics of the relationship. Here are some common responses that narcissists might exhibit when they realize they cannot easily overpower someone:
Devalue and Discard: A typical response from a narcissist is to devalue the person they see as a threat and ultimately discard them. They may belittle the individual's accomplishments, undermine their self-confidence, and attempt to make them feel inadequate or unworthy.
Gaslighting: Narcissists might resort to gaslighting, a manipulative tactic where they distort the truth, deny past events, or make the strong person doubt their own perceptions, memories, and judgment. This can lead the individual to question their sanity or feel like they are going crazy.
Hoovering: In some cases, if the strong person has traits or resources that the narcissist still values (such as attention, admiration, or tangible benefits), the narcissist may attempt to "hoover" them back into the relationship. They might use flattery, false promises of change, or charm to regain control over the person.
Smear Campaign: If the strong person has a social or professional standing that the narcissist perceives as a threat, the narcissist may engage in a smear campaign to tarnish their reputation. They might spread rumors, lies, or half-truths to damage the person's credibility and social support system.
Escalation of Abusive Tactics: When faced with resistance, some narcissists may escalate their abusive behavior. This can include intensified emotional manipulation, threats, or even physical violence in extreme cases.
Avoidance or Silent Treatment: Instead of confronting the strong person head-on, some narcissists may choose to avoid them altogether or give them the silent treatment. This tactic is meant to exert control by withholding attention and communication.
Seeking a New Target: If the narcissist cannot control the strong person, they may redirect their attention to find someone else they believe they can manipulate and exploit.
It's crucial for the strong individual to recognize these patterns and maintain their boundaries. Engaging with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and damaging to one's well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can be beneficial when dealing with the aftermath of a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Setting and enforcing firm boundaries is also essential to protect oneself from further manipulation and harm.