A narcissistic discard refers to a phase in a relationship with a person who has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). During this phase, the narcissist may abruptly end or discard the relationship with little empathy or consideration for the other person's feelings. The process of a narcissistic discard can be emotionally and psychologically challenging for the person on the receiving end. Here are some common steps that may be involved in a narcissistic discard:
Idealization Phase: In the beginning, the narcissist may idealize and love-bomb their partner, showering them with affection, compliments, and attention. This phase makes the person feel special and loved, creating a strong emotional bond.
Devaluation Phase: After the initial idealization, the narcissist may start to devalue their partner. They may become critical, distant, or emotionally unavailable. They may also undermine the person's self-esteem, making them question their worth and value in the relationship.
Discard Phase: During this phase, the narcissist decides to end the relationship, often abruptly and without warning. They may discard their partner callously, showing little empathy or concern for the emotional impact it has on them. The narcissist may justify the discard by blaming the other person for the relationship's failure.
Emotional Manipulation: Throughout the process, the narcissist may use emotional manipulation and gaslighting techniques to control the narrative and make the other person doubt their perception of reality. This manipulation can leave the person feeling confused, hurt, and emotionally drained.
Idealization of a New Source: After the discard, the narcissist may quickly move on to a new relationship or find another source of validation. They may idealize and love-bomb the new partner, repeating the cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard.
Hoovering (Optional): In some cases, after the discard, the narcissist may attempt to "hoover" their former partner back into the relationship. They may use various tactics to re-engage the person, such as promising change or seeking sympathy.
It is essential to remember that not all relationships with narcissists follow this exact pattern, and the intensity and duration of each phase can vary. Additionally, not everyone with narcissistic tendencies will engage in a discard phase, as some may simply move on to a new source of validation without a clear-cut discard event.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissistic individual or have experienced a narcissistic discard, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can help you process your feelings, establish healthy boundaries, and work on healing from the emotional impact of the relationship.