Narcissists can use funerals to their advantage in several manipulative ways. It's important to note that not all narcissists will engage in these behaviors, and individual behavior can vary widely. However, some common tactics they might employ include:
Seeking attention and sympathy: Narcissists crave attention and admiration, even in times of grief. They may use a funeral as an opportunity to be the center of attention, sharing their own emotions or exploits to garner sympathy from others.
Playing the victim: Narcissists may use a funeral as a chance to play the victim, seeking pity and validation from others for their supposed suffering or loss. They might exaggerate their relationship with the deceased or their grief to gain sympathy.
Seeking admiration and validation: Funerals often bring people together, and narcissists may view this as an opportunity to receive admiration and validation from others. They might try to impress attendees with stories of their achievements or close connection to the deceased.
Hoovering: "Hoovering" is a term used to describe a manipulative tactic in which a narcissist attempts to draw a previous partner or someone they had a conflict with back into a relationship or interaction. At a funeral, they might use this occasion to reconnect with old sources of supply, even if they had previously discarded or mistreated them.
Creating drama and conflict: Narcissists may exploit the heightened emotions at a funeral to create drama and conflict among family members or friends. They might stoke disagreements, provoke arguments, or spread rumors to divert attention to themselves.
Monopolizing the grieving process: A narcissist might try to monopolize the grieving process, making it all about their own feelings and experiences rather than allowing others to mourn in their own way.
Disrespecting boundaries: Narcissists often lack respect for personal boundaries and may use a funeral as an opportunity to invade others' privacy or manipulate the grieving process for their benefit.
Gaining control and power: Funerals can be emotionally charged events, and narcissists may exploit this vulnerability to assert control over others or to consolidate their power within the family or social circle.
It's essential for those attending funerals or dealing with narcissists during such events to be aware of these potential manipulations and to set boundaries to protect their emotional well-being. Additionally, it can be helpful to seek support from other friends or family members who can provide a more balanced perspective and emotional support during difficult times.