Narcissists may contact you and then ignore your messages for several reasons, all of which are related to their personality traits and how they view relationships.
Power and Control: Narcissists often seek power and control in their relationships. Ignoring your messages or giving you the silent treatment can be a manipulative tactic to exert control over you and keep you emotionally off-balance.
Seeking Attention: Narcissists crave attention and validation. By reaching out to you, even if it's just to ignore your messages later, they are trying to elicit a reaction from you. It gives them a sense of power knowing they have an impact on your emotions.
Triangulation: Narcissists may use triangulation to create jealousy and competition among their relationship partners. By contacting you and then ignoring you, they might be trying to make you feel insecure or provoke a reaction from you.
Maintaining Supply: Narcissists need a constant supply of admiration and attention. They may reach out to you when they feel their other sources of supply are diminishing, only to ignore you again once they find a new source.
Emotional Manipulation: Ignoring your messages is a form of emotional manipulation. They want you to feel hurt, confused, or desperate for their attention, reinforcing their control over you.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists have a limited capacity for empathy, and they may not consider how their actions impact others. Ignoring your messages is a reflection of their lack of concern for your feelings.
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists often cycle between idealizing and devaluing their relationship partners. Ignoring your messages might be part of the devaluation phase, where they withdraw attention and affection to undermine your self-esteem.
Attention on Their Terms: Narcissists want attention on their terms and may ignore your messages to assert this control. They may respond only when it suits their needs or when they want something from you.
It's important to recognize that these behaviors are unhealthy and emotionally harmful. If you find yourself in a situation where a narcissist is contacting you and then ignoring your messages, it's crucial to set and maintain healthy boundaries and prioritize your well-being. Engaging in communication with a narcissist can be emotionally exhausting and may perpetuate a cycle of manipulation and abuse. Seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional can be beneficial in navigating these challenging dynamics.