In the context of a romantic relationship, a mistress is someone who is involved with a person who is already committed to another person or is in a committed relationship, usually as a spouse or long-term partner. In the case of a narcissist, the role of a mistress can vary, but there are some common dynamics that may be present:
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists thrive on attention, admiration, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply. Having a mistress provides an additional source of supply for the narcissist, boosting their ego and sense of self-importance. The mistress may provide the narcissist with the admiration and attention they desire, helping to fuel their grandiosity.
Idealization and Devaluation: Like in any other relationship, a narcissist may initially idealize their mistress, seeing her as the perfect partner who fulfills their needs and desires. This can lead to intense affection and attention towards the mistress during the idealization phase. However, as the relationship progresses or the excitement wanes, the narcissist may start to devalue the mistress and treat her poorly, just as they might have done with previous partners.
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists are skilled manipulators and may use their charm and charisma to keep the mistress emotionally invested in the relationship. They may create a sense of dependency in the mistress, making it difficult for her to leave the relationship despite mistreatment or neglect.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists often lack empathy and may disregard the feelings and needs of their mistress. They may be primarily focused on their own desires and may not consider the emotional toll their actions take on the mistress.
Narcissistic Rivalry: In some cases, a narcissist may enjoy having multiple romantic partners as a way of asserting their superiority and control. Having a mistress can create a sense of rivalry between her and the narcissist's primary partner, giving the narcissist a feeling of power and importance.
Maintaining Multiple Sources of Supply: For some narcissists, having a mistress is a way of hedging their bets and ensuring they have a backup source of narcissistic supply if their primary relationship fails or if they encounter challenges in that relationship.
It's essential to recognize that engaging in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally and psychologically harmful for the other person involved, whether it's the primary partner or the mistress. Narcissistic relationships often lack genuine emotional connection and are built on a foundation of manipulation and exploitation.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist or suspect that you are in one, seeking professional support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial to understand the dynamics at play and explore healthy ways to navigate the situation.