While I can't provide a specific reason for your husband's behavior without more information, there could be several possible explanations for why he is not choosing to settle the divorce quickly by paying you off. Here are some potential reasons:
Ego and Control: Narcissists often have a strong need for control and may refuse to give in or "lose" by paying you off quickly. He might want to assert dominance or prove to himself and others that he can still influence the situation.
Fear of Loss: Your husband may fear losing more than just money. By dragging out the divorce, he might be attempting to keep you emotionally attached to him or trying to maintain some semblance of the life he had before the divorce.
Punishment or Retaliation: Narcissists can be vindictive and may see the divorce process as an opportunity to punish you for "betraying" him by catching him cheating. Dragging out the process might be a way to inflict emotional distress on you.
Financial Gain: In some cases, a narcissistic spouse may use the prolonged divorce process to hide assets or manipulate financial matters to his advantage.
Avoiding Accountability: By drawing out the divorce, he may be attempting to delay facing the consequences of his actions or avoid taking responsibility for his behavior.
Seeking Narcissistic Supply: The divorce process can provide a narcissist with a constant source of attention, drama, and validation, which they often crave.
Overconfidence: Your husband might be overly confident in his ability to manipulate the situation or may underestimate the financial and emotional costs of a prolonged divorce.
It's important to remember that narcissistic behavior can be complex, and there may be multiple factors at play. Whatever the reason, dealing with a narcissistic partner during a divorce can be challenging. It's essential to focus on protecting your rights and well-being during this difficult time. Seeking support from a lawyer, therapist, or support group can be helpful in navigating the complexities of divorce with a narcissistic spouse.