It's important to note that not all narcissists behave the same way, and individual personalities can vary widely. However, there are some common patterns that might explain why some narcissists appear to show more interest in a new partner or "supply" and their child than in their own children from a previous relationship. Here are some potential reasons:
Idealization and Devaluation Cycle: Narcissists tend to idealize new sources of supply, such as a new partner, during the initial stages of a relationship. They may perceive this new person as perfect and shower them with attention and affection. However, as time goes on and the initial excitement wears off, the narcissist may start to devalue the new partner, just as they might have done with previous partners or their own children.
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists crave attention, admiration, and validation from others, known as narcissistic supply. In a new relationship, they may see an opportunity to obtain a fresh source of supply, and as a result, they invest considerable effort into that new relationship. This can lead them to prioritize the new partner and child over their own children from a previous relationship, especially if those children are not providing the desired level of supply or are challenging the narcissist's ego.
Lack of Emotional Bond: Narcissists often struggle with forming deep emotional bonds and genuine connections with others, including their own children. They may see their children as extensions of themselves rather than as separate individuals with their own needs and feelings. As a result, they might not feel a strong emotional attachment to their children and may be more likely to neglect or ignore them in favor of pursuing new sources of supply.
Difficulty with Empathy: Narcissists typically have limited empathy and find it challenging to understand or care about the feelings and experiences of others, including their own children. They may be more focused on their own needs, desires, and self-image, which can lead to neglectful behavior towards their children.
Attention-Seeking Behavior: Narcissists are often preoccupied with seeking attention and validation from others. A new partner and child can provide them with a fresh audience for their self-centered behaviors and allow them to continue their pursuit of admiration and control.
Sense of Entitlement: Narcissists may have a strong sense of entitlement, believing that they deserve special treatment and should be the center of attention. They may prioritize their own desires and interests above those of their children.
It's crucial to remember that not all narcissists neglect their children, and some may still show interest in their children for various reasons, such as using them as pawns for manipulation or maintaining a positive public image. However, when narcissistic traits are prevalent, children's emotional and psychological well-being can be at risk, and they may experience emotional neglect or abuse. If you suspect that someone you know is dealing with a narcissistic parent, it's important to encourage seeking professional help and support for both the parent and the children involved.