Narcissists often cancel plans last minute while continuing to text every day for several reasons:
Control and power: Cancelling plans unexpectedly gives the narcissist a sense of control over the situation. It allows them to dictate the terms of the relationship and keep others off-balance, unsure of what to expect. They enjoy the feeling of power it gives them to disrupt someone else's plans and potentially make them feel disappointed or inconvenienced.
Maintaining attention: Narcissists thrive on attention and validation. By texting every day, they keep the lines of communication open, ensuring that they remain a consistent presence in the other person's life. Even if they cancel plans, they still want to know they have the ability to reach out and receive a response.
Emotional manipulation: By cancelling plans and then continuing to text, narcissists can play with the emotions of others. It keeps the person they're interacting with in a state of uncertainty and anxiety, making them more likely to seek the narcissist's approval and attention.
Avoiding commitment: Narcissists often struggle with forming genuine and meaningful connections. By cancelling plans, they can avoid deepening the relationship and potentially becoming emotionally vulnerable. Continuing to text allows them to maintain a surface-level connection without having to invest more deeply.
Ensuring a backup: Narcissists like to keep multiple options open. By canceling plans but staying in touch, they can maintain the other person's interest and attention, even if they are not genuinely interested in the relationship. This way, they have a backup option in case their primary source of validation or attention becomes unavailable.
Sustaining the ego boost: Narcissists enjoy the feeling of being wanted and desired. Cancelling plans can create a situation where the other person tries harder to get the narcissist's attention, thereby inflating the narcissist's ego and sense of self-importance.
Gaslighting and control tactics: Consistently cancelling plans can be a form of gaslighting, where the narcissist undermines the other person's perception of reality. They may downplay the significance of their cancellations, blame the other person for the situation, or use other manipulative tactics to maintain control and avoid accountability.
It's essential to recognize these behaviors as manipulative and not conducive to a healthy and respectful relationship. If you find yourself dealing with a narcissist who repeatedly cancels plans and engages in such manipulative behaviors, it's essential to set boundaries, communicate your needs clearly, and consider whether the relationship is genuinely fulfilling and supportive of your well-being. In many cases, it may be best to distance yourself from toxic relationships and seek support from friends, family, or professionals to help navigate through the challenges.