Identifying whether someone is a covert narcissist or not is not always easy, and it's essential to approach this issue with care and empathy. Diagnosing a personality disorder should ideally be done by a mental health professional. However, here are some common signs that might indicate covert narcissistic tendencies in a person:
Excessive need for validation: Covert narcissists often have a fragile self-esteem and constantly seek validation and praise from others to boost their self-worth.
Lack of empathy: They may struggle to understand or connect with others' emotions and experiences, as they are primarily focused on their own needs and feelings.
Grandiosity: While they may not display overt arrogance, covert narcissists might have a strong sense of entitlement and believe they are unique or special in some way.
Victim mentality: Covert narcissists may often play the victim card, feeling misunderstood or mistreated by others, while avoiding taking responsibility for their actions.
Manipulative behavior: They may engage in subtle manipulation tactics to control and influence others without drawing too much attention to themselves.
Difficulty with criticism: Covert narcissists may become defensive and sensitive when faced with criticism or any suggestion of wrongdoing.
Envy and resentment: They may harbor feelings of envy towards others and believe that they deserve more attention, recognition, or success.
Charming facade: Covert narcissists can be charming and charismatic in social situations, but their true self is revealed more in intimate or private settings.
Lack of boundaries: They may disregard personal boundaries and invade others' privacy or emotional space to meet their own needs.
It's important to remember that having some of these traits doesn't necessarily mean someone is a covert narcissist. Many people may display some narcissistic behaviors occasionally, but it becomes a concern when these behaviors are consistent and significantly affect their relationships and overall well-being.
If you are concerned about your girlfriend's behavior, it's essential to communicate openly and honestly with her. Avoid labeling or diagnosing her but instead express your feelings and observations about how her actions impact you and the relationship. If the issues persist or worsen, suggest seeking professional help, such as a therapist or counselor, who can offer a more accurate assessment and guidance for both of you.
Remember that even if someone exhibits narcissistic tendencies, change is possible with professional support and personal growth, but the person needs to be willing to address their behaviors and work on improving themselves.