Feeling the urge to contact a narcissistic ex can be a complex and challenging emotional experience. There are several reasons why you might feel this way:
Emotional attachment: Despite the toxic nature of the relationship, you may still have emotional attachments to your ex. This attachment can be powerful and can lead you to seek contact, even if it's not in your best interest.
Familiarity and comfort: Being with your ex might provide a sense of familiarity and comfort, even if the relationship was toxic. Sometimes, people may choose what's familiar over the uncertainty of starting anew.
Hope for change: You might hope that your ex has changed or will change, leading to a better and healthier relationship. This hope can be compelling and lead you to reach out to give the relationship another chance.
Fear of being alone: Leaving a relationship can trigger feelings of loneliness, and the desire to contact your ex might stem from a fear of being alone or not finding someone else.
Trauma bonding: In narcissistic relationships, trauma bonding can occur. It's a strong emotional attachment that forms as a result of the intermittent reinforcement of love and abuse. The abuse creates a cycle of highs and lows, leading to an addictive-like bond.
Need for closure: You might seek closure or answers to unresolved questions from the relationship, hoping that contacting your ex will provide some clarity.
Hoovering tactics: Narcissists are known for employing hoovering tactics, which involve trying to draw you back into the relationship through manipulation and false promises. They may give you just enough attention or affection to keep you engaged.
It's essential to recognize that maintaining contact with a narcissistic ex can be harmful to your well-being and emotional healing. If you find yourself struggling to resist the urge to call your ex, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate your feelings and emotions. Creating healthy boundaries and focusing on your own personal growth and well-being are crucial steps in moving forward after a toxic relationship.