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Dealing with a covert narcissistic mother can be challenging and emotionally draining. It's essential to prioritize your own well-being while handling this situation. Here are some steps you can consider:

  1. Set Boundaries: Establish clear and firm boundaries with your mother. Let her know what behavior is unacceptable, and be prepared to enforce these boundaries if they are violated.

  2. Seek Support: Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who understand narcissistic personality traits. Having a support network can provide validation and help you cope with the difficulties you may face.

  3. Focus on Self-Care: Make self-care a priority in your life. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This will help you build emotional resilience and cope with the challenges your mother may present.

  4. Limit Contact: If your mother's behavior is consistently toxic and harmful to your well-being, consider reducing or limiting contact with her. Sometimes, creating space can be essential for your mental health.

  5. Seek Professional Help: If you find that the situation is overwhelming or affecting your life significantly, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder. They can provide guidance and support.

  6. Manage Expectations: Accept that you may not be able to change your mother's behavior or gain her approval. Focus on your own growth and happiness instead.

  7. Practice Assertiveness: Be assertive when communicating with your mother, expressing your needs and feelings clearly and confidently.

  8. Avoid Reacting Emotionally: Covert narcissists may try to provoke emotional reactions. Try to stay calm and composed during interactions.

  9. Focus on Emotional Detachment: Detaching emotionally from your mother's behavior can help protect your well-being.

  10. Forgive Yourself: Dealing with a narcissistic parent can leave emotional scars. Remember that it is not your fault, and forgive yourself for any past feelings of guilt or inadequacy.

It's important to remember that every situation is unique, and you should do what feels right for your mental and emotional health. If you ever feel overwhelmed, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional who can provide personalized advice and support.

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