Question

My mother in law is a narcissist. (I am married to the Golden Child.) When we don’t have a relationship with her, due to drama, I see it deeply saddens my husband. Do I maintain the relationship, despite how she treats others?

Answer 1

Dealing with a narcissistic mother-in-law can be extremely challenging, especially when it affects your relationship with your spouse. Ultimately, the decision on how to handle the relationship with her is up to you and your spouse, but there are some considerations to keep in mind:

1. Communication with Your Spouse: It's crucial to have open and honest communication with your spouse about how you both feel regarding the relationship with his mother. Share your concerns and emotions with each other, and try to find common ground on how to approach the situation together.

2. Setting Boundaries: If you and your spouse decide to maintain a relationship with your mother-in-law, it's essential to establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. Determine what behavior is acceptable and what is not, and communicate those boundaries to your mother-in-law if possible.

3. Limiting Contact: If your mother-in-law's behavior is consistently toxic and harmful, consider limiting your contact with her. Reducing exposure to her negativity can be beneficial for your mental and emotional health.

4. Seeking Support: If dealing with your mother-in-law becomes overwhelming, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. A professional can help you and your spouse navigate the complexities of dealing with a narcissistic individual and offer coping strategies.

5. Focus on Your Marriage: Make your relationship with your spouse a priority. Support each other and work together as a team to address challenges that arise due to family dynamics. Your marriage should be a safe haven where you both feel understood and respected.

6. Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is vital, especially when dealing with difficult family dynamics. Practice self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and surround yourself with a support network of friends and loved ones.

It's important to remember that maintaining a relationship with a narcissistic individual can be emotionally taxing, and it may not always be possible or healthy to have a close relationship with someone who is toxic. Ultimately, you and your spouse should prioritize your well-being and happiness in making decisions about the relationship with your mother-in-law.