When a narcissist realizes they've made a mistake with breaking up with someone, their reaction and behavior can vary based on their individual personality traits and coping mechanisms. Narcissists tend to have a grandiose sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, which can influence their response to realizing they made a mistake. Here are some possible scenarios:
Hoovering: Narcissists may attempt to "hoover" or manipulate their former partner back into the relationship. They might use various tactics like love bombing (excessive flattery and affection), promises of change, or even guilt-tripping to get the person to return to them.
Blame-shifting: Instead of taking responsibility for their mistake, a narcissist may try to blame the other person for the breakup or find ways to discredit them. They might say things like, "You made me do it," or "It was your fault I left in the first place."
Seeking validation: Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. Realizing they've made a mistake with the breakup might lead them to seek validation from the person they left, especially if they feel that person's absence affects their ego.
Emotional manipulation: Narcissists can be skilled at manipulating emotions, and they may use emotional tactics to regain control or sympathy. They might play the victim or act excessively sad and remorseful to elicit a compassionate response from their former partner.
Discarding and devaluation: On the other hand, if the narcissist realizes that the person they left has moved on or isn't willing to reconcile, they might devalue and discard them again to cope with the rejection. They could resort to derogatory remarks or try to make the person feel unwanted.
It's important to note that a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and toxic. While some individuals might hope that the narcissist's realization leads to positive changes, it's often a rare occurrence. Narcissistic personality traits are deeply ingrained, and true, lasting change is challenging for most narcissists. For the person who was in a relationship with the narcissist, it is often advisable to focus on self-care, healing, and surrounding oneself with supportive individuals rather than re-entering a potentially harmful dynamic.