Narcissists can indeed become more obsessed with someone when they are ignored or when that person appears unapproachable. However, it's important to note that this behavior is not an indication of genuine affection or value. Instead, it stems from the nature of narcissistic personality traits and their need for validation and control.
Here are some reasons why narcissists may become more obsessed when ignored:
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists crave attention and admiration, known as narcissistic supply. When they encounter someone who ignores them or appears uninterested, it becomes a challenge to their ego. They see it as a threat to their sense of self-importance and superiority. As a result, they may intensify their efforts to gain the attention and admiration of the person who is ignoring them.
Control and Power: Narcissists thrive on control and power over others. When they can easily manipulate and influence someone, they might not find it as satisfying. However, when faced with someone who is more resistant or independent, they may feel a strong desire to regain control. The challenge of winning over someone who seems unattainable becomes enticing to them.
Ego Boost: Successfully capturing the attention of someone who initially ignored them can provide a narcissist with a significant ego boost. It reinforces their belief in their charm and persuasiveness. This, in turn, motivates them to put even more effort into the pursuit.
Fear of Rejection: Despite their grandiose exterior, narcissists often have fragile self-esteem. Being ignored can trigger feelings of rejection, which can be highly distressing for them. To cope with this emotional discomfort, they may intensify their pursuit of the person who ignored them, attempting to regain a sense of self-worth.
Need for Admiration: Narcissists need constant admiration and validation to maintain their inflated self-image. If they encounter someone who doesn't readily provide this admiration, it can become a challenge they can't resist. They may see the person's attention as more valuable precisely because it's harder to obtain.
It's essential to understand that this behavior is not a sign of genuine interest or value from the narcissist. It is simply a reflection of their own insecurities, manipulative tendencies, and the need for external validation. Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, and it is often best to set clear boundaries and prioritize your well-being. Maintaining no contact or limiting interactions with narcissists can be a healthy approach to protect yourself from their toxic behavior.