Yes, feeling like a fool after being in a relationship with a narcissist is entirely normal and a common experience for many people who have been through such relationships. Narcissists are skilled manipulators who often present a charming and charismatic facade early in the relationship. They can be highly persuasive, making you believe that they are caring, empathetic, and deeply interested in you.
As the relationship progresses, however, the narcissistic traits become more apparent, and you may start to realize that much of what they presented early on was a facade. They often engage in manipulative behaviors, exploit others for their gain, lack empathy, and have an inflated sense of self-importance.
Feeling like a fool can arise from several factors, such as:
Deception: Narcissists often lie and deceive to maintain control over their victims. When you discover the extent of their deception, it can leave you feeling foolish for having believed them.
Gaslighting: Narcissists use gaslighting techniques to make you doubt your perceptions, feelings, and memories. This can lead to self-doubt and feelings of foolishness.
Idealization and devaluation cycle: In a narcissistic relationship, you may experience a cycle of idealization, where you feel adored and special, followed by devaluation, where you are made to feel worthless and unimportant. This rollercoaster of emotions can leave you feeling like a fool for falling for their tactics repeatedly.
Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others' emotions and exploiting vulnerabilities. Recognizing that you were manipulated can be a painful realization.
Self-blame: Narcissists often shift blame onto their victims and make them feel responsible for the relationship's problems. As a result, you may internalize the blame and feel like a fool for not seeing the signs or leaving sooner.
It's important to remember that feeling like a fool is a normal response to the manipulation and abuse experienced in a narcissistic relationship. Be kind to yourself and remember that you were targeted by a skilled manipulator who took advantage of your trust and kindness. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help you process these emotions and heal from the emotional wounds caused by the narcissistic relationship. With time and support, you can rebuild your self-esteem and move forward towards healthier relationships.