While it is theoretically possible for a malignant narcissist who is self-aware to change, it remains challenging and rare. Self-awareness is a crucial first step towards personal growth and change, but it is not a guarantee that significant changes in behavior will occur.
"Malignant narcissism" refers to a severe form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) that includes traits of narcissism, antisocial behavior, aggression, and a lack of empathy. Malignant narcissists often display manipulative, exploitative, and even sadistic tendencies in their relationships, and they may cause significant harm to others without remorse.
Self-awareness means that the individual has some understanding of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and recognizes the impact of their actions on others. However, even with self-awareness, a malignant narcissist might struggle to change due to several reasons:
Deep-Rooted Personality Traits: Malignant narcissism is associated with deep-rooted personality traits and defense mechanisms that have developed over a long time. These patterns are challenging to change, and the individual might revert to old behaviors under stress or when seeking to meet their needs.
Lack of Motivation: While self-awareness can lead to insights into one's behavior, the motivation to change is crucial. Malignant narcissists may lack the motivation to change because they often feel entitled, believe they are superior, and may not perceive their actions as problematic.
Manipulative Nature: Malignant narcissists are skilled at manipulation and may use their self-awareness as another tool to achieve their goals. They might use it to feign remorse or empathy to maintain control over others or to avoid consequences.
Limited Empathy: While self-awareness might enable a malignant narcissist to understand how others perceive them, it does not necessarily mean they can truly empathize with others. Empathy is essential for meaningful change and fostering healthier relationships.
Resistance to Vulnerability: Malignant narcissists typically avoid vulnerability at all costs. Changing deeply ingrained behaviors requires vulnerability and the willingness to confront uncomfortable emotions and experiences, something they may resist.
Need for Narcissistic Supply: Malignant narcissists have an insatiable need for narcissistic supply, which is the validation and admiration they seek from others. Changing their behavior might involve relinquishing some control and attention, which could be challenging for them to do.
While it is essential to approach every individual as unique, the likelihood of a malignant narcissist undergoing significant and lasting change without professional help is low. Professional therapeutic intervention, such as long-term psychotherapy or treatments specifically designed for personality disorders, may be necessary for any realistic chance of change.
It's also crucial to consider your own well-being and safety when dealing with a malignant narcissist. If you are in a relationship with such an individual, it is advisable to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can guide you through the process of setting boundaries and prioritizing your own emotional and physical health.