When a narcissist blames others for the behavior they exhibit, it is a defense mechanism known as "projection." Projection occurs when a person attributes their own unwanted or unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to someone else. In the case of a narcissist, they may project their negative qualities onto others to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to protect their self-image of being perfect or superior.
By projecting their faults onto others, narcissists can maintain their inflated sense of self and externalize any perceived flaws or weaknesses. This behavior can be manipulative and confusing to those around them, as the narcissist may accuse others of the very traits or actions they themselves are guilty of.
For example, if a narcissist is dishonest or manipulative, they might accuse others of being untrustworthy or deceitful. If they are prone to anger and aggression, they might claim that others are aggressive or hostile. By doing so, they divert attention away from their own behavior and place the focus on others, making it more challenging for people to recognize the narcissist's own shortcomings.
Understanding projection can be helpful when dealing with narcissists, as it allows you to recognize when they might be projecting their issues onto you or others. Setting boundaries and maintaining a clear sense of reality can help protect yourself from the manipulative tactics of a narcissist who is projecting their behavior onto you.