Going low contact with family as a scapegoat can be a challenging and delicate process. It is important to prioritize your well-being and emotional health while setting boundaries to protect yourself from further harm. Here are some steps to consider when going low contact:
Set clear boundaries: Establish firm and clear boundaries with your family members. Communicate your decision calmly and assertively, explaining that you need some space and time for yourself. Make it clear that this decision is about your well-being and not a punishment or an attack against them.
Limit communication: Gradually reduce the frequency and depth of communication with family members. You can decide how often you will interact with them and through which channels (e.g., phone calls, texts, emails, social media).
Be selective in sharing information: Avoid sharing personal details about your life that could be used against you or exploited by family members. Keep conversations light and superficial when necessary.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, other family members (if there are supportive ones), or a therapist/counselor who can provide understanding and emotional support during this process.
Practice self-care: Focus on self-care and building a strong support network outside of your family. Engage in activities that bring you joy, reduce stress, and promote overall well-being.
Manage guilt and self-doubt: Going low contact might evoke feelings of guilt or self-doubt. Remember that prioritizing your well-being is not selfish; it's essential for your mental and emotional health.
Address any internalized scapegoating: It is common for scapegoats to internalize the negative messages projected onto them by their family. Working with a therapist can be beneficial in processing these emotions and building self-esteem.
Detach emotionally: Detaching emotionally from the family's harmful dynamics can be essential for your healing process. This doesn't mean you stop caring about them, but you disengage from the toxicity that may exist in the relationship.
Stay firm in your decision: Expect pushback from family members who may resist or react negatively to your boundaries. Stay firm in your decision to go low contact and remember why you made this choice.
Reevaluate as needed: As time goes on, assess how the low contact arrangement is affecting you and your well-being. You may decide to adjust the level of contact based on what feels most comfortable and healthy for you.
Remember that going low contact is a personal decision, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The process might involve emotional challenges, but prioritizing your well-being and happiness is crucial. If the family dynamic is particularly toxic or abusive, going no contact might be necessary in extreme cases, but this decision should be made carefully and with consideration of your specific circumstances. If you feel overwhelmed or unsure about how to proceed, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional to navigate this process in a healthy and supportive way.