A narcissistic mother may engage in behavior to pit siblings against one another and isolate one of them for various reasons related to her personality traits and psychological needs. It's important to note that not all mothers with narcissistic tendencies will exhibit these specific behaviors, as narcissism exists on a spectrum and can manifest differently in different individuals. However, some possible reasons for this behavior could include:
Need for control and power: Narcissistic individuals often crave control and power over others. By creating conflict and division among their children, they can manipulate and control their emotions and actions, ensuring that they remain at the center of attention and maintain dominance within the family dynamics.
Divide and conquer strategy: A narcissistic mother may perceive her children as potential threats to her sense of superiority or as individuals who could challenge her authority. By pitting siblings against each other, she can weaken their bond and prevent them from forming a united front against her, thereby maintaining her position of influence.
Scapegoating and golden child dynamics: Narcissistic mothers may favor one child (the golden child) while scapegoating another (the targeted child). The golden child is often showered with praise and attention, while the scapegoat is unfairly blamed for family issues and mistreated. This creates a rift between the siblings and isolates the targeted child, who may be made to feel like an outsider within their own family.
Emotional manipulation and attention-seeking: Narcissistic individuals often have an insatiable need for validation and admiration. By creating conflict and drama within the family, they can draw attention to themselves and elicit emotional reactions from their children, fulfilling their desire for constant attention.
Projection of their insecurities: Narcissists may project their own insecurities, self-doubts, and negative emotions onto their children. They may see aspects of themselves they dislike in one child and target them as a way to distance themselves from those perceived flaws.
Jealousy and rivalry: A narcissistic mother may feel jealous of her children's accomplishments, talents, or relationships with others. To cope with this jealousy and maintain her sense of superiority, she may undermine their achievements or try to sabotage their relationships.
Lack of empathy: Narcissists often struggle with empathy and have difficulty understanding and relating to others' emotions. This lack of empathy can lead to callous and hurtful behavior towards their children, including creating divisions within the family.
It's important to recognize that being raised by a narcissistic mother can have a significant impact on a person's emotional well-being and relationships throughout their life. Children who experience this type of upbringing may develop various coping mechanisms, experience emotional trauma, and struggle with self-esteem and boundary-setting in their adult lives.
If you or someone you know is dealing with the effects of having a narcissistic mother, seeking support from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counselor, can be beneficial in understanding and healing from these experiences.