The narcissist is often mean to the scapegoat for several reasons, all of which stem from the dysfunctional dynamics within a narcissistic family or social system. In such systems, family members are often assigned roles, and the scapegoat is one of these roles. Here are some key reasons why the narcissist is mean to the scapegoat:
Projection: Narcissists have difficulty accepting and acknowledging their own flaws, insecurities, and negative emotions. Instead of facing these aspects of themselves, they project their own shortcomings onto others, especially the scapegoat. By blaming the scapegoat for everything that goes wrong in the family or social setting, the narcissist can avoid taking responsibility for their actions and maintain their self-image as flawless and superior.
Scapegoating as a Distraction: The scapegoat serves as a convenient target for the narcissist's frustrations, anger, and unresolved issues. By directing negativity towards the scapegoat, the narcissist can divert attention away from their own shortcomings and maintain control over the family or social dynamic.
Maintaining Control: Narcissists seek to maintain control and dominance over others. By mistreating the scapegoat, they assert their power and enforce a hierarchical structure within the family or social group. This control is reinforced by other family members who may align with the narcissist and perpetuate the mistreatment.
Emotional Manipulation: The narcissist may use the scapegoat as a source of emotional regulation. By consistently putting down and belittling the scapegoat, the narcissist can derive a sense of superiority and satisfaction. They may feel more powerful and in control by keeping the scapegoat emotionally destabilized.
Jealousy and Envy: Narcissists often struggle with feelings of envy and jealousy towards others who they perceive as more successful, attractive, or competent. The scapegoat may become a target of the narcissist's envy if they possess qualities that the narcissist wishes they had or if they receive positive attention from others.
Reinforcing the Narcissist's Image: By portraying the scapegoat as flawed, rebellious, or problematic, the narcissist can further validate their self-perceived superiority and victimhood. This reinforces the narrative that they are blameless and victimized by others' supposed incompetence or rebellion.
Divide and Conquer: Narcissists often use manipulation and triangulation to create divisions within the family or social group. By scapegoating one individual, the narcissist can create conflict and tension between members, making it easier for them to maintain control and fueling a sense of chaos that distracts from their own behavior.
It's important to remember that these reasons do not justify the narcissist's mistreatment of the scapegoat. Scapegoating is a harmful and toxic dynamic that can have long-lasting effects on the individual who is targeted. Understanding the underlying reasons behind the narcissist's behavior can be helpful in healing and breaking free from the cycle of abuse. If you or someone you know is dealing with narcissistic abuse, seeking professional support from therapists or counselors experienced in dealing with narcissistic personality dynamics can be beneficial.