Narcissists may feel better after a big fight with their partner for several reasons, as their behavior is often driven by their underlying psychological traits and defense mechanisms. It's important to note that not all narcissists will exhibit the same behaviors, and individual experiences can vary. Here are some ways narcissists might feel better after a fight:
Regaining Control: Narcissists have a strong desire for control and dominance in relationships. Engaging in a fight allows them to assert their power and influence over their partner, reaffirming their sense of superiority.
Validation of Self-Image: Narcissists have a fragile self-esteem, and a fight might temporarily provide validation that they are right, worthy of attention, or that their partner cares enough to engage emotionally.
Emotional Manipulation: Narcissists may intentionally provoke fights as a form of emotional manipulation. They use the conflict to trigger guilt or sympathy in their partner, which can be used to gain attention, affection, or favors.
Avoiding Intimacy: Genuine emotional intimacy can be challenging for narcissists due to their fear of vulnerability and rejection. Engaging in fights can create emotional distance and protect them from deeper emotional connections.
Fueling Ego: The adrenaline and drama of a fight can be stimulating for some narcissists. It provides an opportunity to bask in the attention and intensity of the situation, which can temporarily boost their ego.
Projecting Blame: Narcissists often struggle with taking responsibility for their actions. A fight allows them to deflect blame onto their partner, avoiding accountability for any wrongdoing.
Controlled Apologies: After a fight, a narcissist might offer a controlled or insincere apology to end the conflict or keep their partner engaged. However, this apology may lack genuine remorse or a willingness to change.
It's essential to recognize that these behaviors are maladaptive and can be harmful to both the narcissist and their partner. Engaging in repeated cycles of conflict and manipulation can erode trust and emotional well-being in the relationship.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissistic partner, it's crucial to consider your own well-being. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help you navigate the challenges of such a relationship and explore healthier ways to cope or make decisions regarding the future of the relationship.