Dealing with a narcissist in any relationship, especially during difficult times, can be incredibly challenging and emotionally draining. It's important to understand that narcissists have a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a constant need for admiration and validation. Their behavior can be manipulative and self-centered, even during someone else's hardships.
When you start going through a difficult time in your life, a narcissist may react in various ways, but typically, their behavior will revolve around their own needs and desires:
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to empathize with others, so they might not understand or acknowledge the depth of your pain and suffering. They might dismiss your feelings or downplay the significance of your struggles.
Shifting Attention to Themselves: In difficult times, you may expect some support or emotional validation from a partner. However, narcissists tend to redirect the focus back to themselves and their own needs, seeking sympathy or admiration for being associated with someone who's going through a tough time.
Gaslighting: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating and distorting reality to suit their agenda. They might try to make you doubt your feelings or experiences, making it challenging for you to express yourself honestly.
Lack of Support: Instead of offering genuine support, a narcissist may use your vulnerability as an opportunity to exploit you further. They may take advantage of your weakened state to gain control or push their own agenda.
Withdrawing Affection: If a narcissist feels that your difficult time is affecting their image or their ability to get what they want, they may withdraw affection or even abandon the relationship altogether.
Love-Bombing: On the other hand, some narcissists might temporarily offer support and care during your difficult time to maintain control over you or to appear more empathetic. This love-bombing phase is often short-lived and followed by a return to their self-centered behavior.
It's essential to recognize these patterns and understand that a narcissist is unlikely to change their fundamental nature. Trying to reason with them or expecting genuine empathy and support can lead to further frustration and disappointment.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, can provide you with tools and strategies to cope with the situation and make informed decisions about the relationship's future. In some cases, it may be best to consider ending the relationship to protect your well-being and emotional health.