In the context of dealing with a narcissist, "flying monkeys" refers to individuals who act on behalf of the narcissist, supporting and enabling their manipulative behavior. These flying monkeys may be friends, family members, colleagues, or acquaintances of the narcissist who willingly or unwittingly engage in actions that the narcissist desires. Several reasons can explain why flying monkeys do what the narcissist wants:
Manipulation and Control: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others to do their bidding. They may use charm, guilt-tripping, or emotional manipulation to persuade people to support them. Flying monkeys might feel compelled to comply because of this manipulation, often without fully understanding the narcissist's intentions.
Fear of Repercussions: Narcissists can be vindictive and retaliatory when they feel threatened or challenged. Flying monkeys may fear the narcissist's anger or potential consequences if they refuse to do what the narcissist wants. They might comply out of self-preservation or to avoid becoming the target of the narcissist's wrath.
Loyalty and Belief: Some flying monkeys genuinely believe in the narcissist's version of events or may have been groomed to be loyal supporters. They may be under the impression that the narcissist is a victim or that their actions are justified.
Desire for Approval and Validation: Flying monkeys might seek validation or approval from the narcissist. They may be dependent on the narcissist's praise and validation and go along with their demands to maintain their favorable position in the narcissist's eyes.
Shared Interests or Agenda: Some flying monkeys might share the narcissist's interests, views, or goals. They may willingly support the narcissist's actions because they align with their own objectives.
Codependency: In some cases, flying monkeys might be codependent individuals who derive a sense of purpose or identity from supporting and serving the narcissist. They may have difficulty setting boundaries and may enable the narcissist's behavior due to their own emotional issues.
Ignorance or Naivety: Some flying monkeys may not fully comprehend the extent of the narcissist's manipulative tactics or may not recognize the harm caused by their actions. They may genuinely believe they are helping or doing the right thing.
It's crucial to understand that flying monkeys are not necessarily malevolent themselves, but they can unwittingly perpetuate the narcissist's harmful behavior. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like a flying monkey, it's essential to step back and critically evaluate your actions and motivations. Seek outside perspectives, consider setting boundaries, and reflect on whether your actions align with your values and the well-being of others. If you suspect that someone you know might be dealing with a narcissist, approach the situation with empathy and understanding, as they might need support to recognize and address the dynamics of the relationship.