Question

Has anyone ever contacted their ex narc new source after being hoovered by the ex narc while they are still together? Is it a bad idea?

Answer 1

Contacting the new source (the current partner of the narcissist) after being hoovered by the ex-narcissist can be a complex and potentially risky decision. It's essential to consider the potential consequences and motivations behind such an action.

Here are some factors to consider:

1. Respect boundaries: While it can be tempting to warn the new source about the narcissist's behavior, reaching out without their consent can be seen as intruding into their personal life and may not be well-received. Respect their privacy and autonomy.

2. Unintended consequences: Contacting the new source may inadvertently cause drama or lead to more problems for you and the new source. The narcissist might use this as an opportunity to manipulate the situation further, creating more chaos.

3. Possible denial: The new source may not believe or accept the information you provide, especially if they are still under the influence of the narcissist's manipulation. They may defend the narcissist or become defensive themselves.

4. Protect yourself: Engaging with the new source could potentially open you up to more emotional pain and manipulation from the narcissist. It's crucial to prioritize your well-being and emotional safety.

5. Seek support: Instead of contacting the new source, focus on building a support network for yourself. Talk to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide understanding and empathy during this challenging time.

6. No-contact is often best: Maintaining no-contact with the narcissist is generally advised after a breakup, as it helps in healing and breaking free from the cycle of manipulation and abuse. Engaging with the new source can reignite feelings of attachment and make it harder to move on.

Ultimately, whether to contact the new source or not is a personal decision that depends on your specific circumstances and motivations. It's essential to reflect on your intentions, potential outcomes, and emotional well-being before taking any action. If you're unsure about what to do, seeking advice from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can provide guidance tailored to your situation and help you navigate through the healing process.