It's great that you recognize the desire to improve your conversational skills and focus more on others. Here are some tips to help you stop talking about yourself and engage in more balanced conversations:
Active Listening: Practice active listening by paying close attention to what the other person is saying. Give them your full focus and avoid interrupting. Make eye contact and nod to show that you are engaged in the conversation.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage the other person to share more about themselves by asking open-ended questions. Instead of questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no," ask questions that require more elaboration.
Show Genuine Interest: When the other person is talking, show genuine interest in what they are saying. Express curiosity and ask follow-up questions to delve deeper into their thoughts and experiences.
Avoid One-Upmanship: Refrain from turning the conversation into a competition by sharing similar experiences that overshadow the other person's stories. Acknowledge their experiences without feeling the need to outdo them.
Practice Empathy: Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their feelings and perspectives. Respond with empathy and validation when appropriate.
Limit Self-Disclosure: While it's essential to share some information about yourself to build rapport, be mindful of oversharing. Share personal experiences when they are relevant to the conversation and contribute to the flow of the discussion.
Use "I" Statements Sparingly: Reduce the use of "I" statements and focus on the other person's point of view. Instead of saying, "I did this," try saying, "What do you think about...?" or "How do you feel about...?"
Practice Patience: Be patient with yourself. Changing conversational habits takes time and effort. If you catch yourself talking about yourself too much during a conversation, make a conscious effort to redirect the focus back to the other person.
Observe Others: Pay attention to skilled conversationalists around you. Notice how they engage with others and learn from their techniques.
Reflect on Conversations: After conversations, take a moment to reflect on how well you listened and how much you talked about yourself. Identify areas for improvement and set goals for future conversations.
Remember, balanced conversations involve active participation from both parties. By focusing on others and showing genuine interest, you can foster stronger connections and create more meaningful interactions.