While it's challenging to generalize every situation, it's essential to understand some common patterns in narcissistic relationships. When a narcissist finds a new supply (a new partner or source of attention), they may initially appear to be happy together. Narcissists often put on a charming and idealized version of themselves during the early stages of a relationship, which can make it seem like they have changed or become better. However, this honeymoon phase is typically short-lived, and their true narcissistic traits will likely resurface over time.
It's important to remember a few key points:
Idealization Phase: Narcissists tend to idealize their new supply, showering them with attention and love to win them over. This can create an illusion of a perfect relationship in the beginning.
Devaluation Phase: As the relationship progresses, the narcissist's true nature often emerges. They may devalue and demean their partner, using emotional manipulation and gaslighting to maintain control.
Cycle of Abuse: Narcissistic relationships often follow a cycle of idealization, devaluation, and discard. The cycle may repeat with each new partner they pursue.
Inability to Sustain Empathy and Genuine Connection: Narcissists have difficulty forming deep, meaningful, and empathetic connections with others. Their self-centeredness and lack of empathy hinder the possibility of a truly fulfilling and lasting relationship.
Regarding your concerns about being a nightmare to date, it's essential to maintain a balanced perspective. While it's normal to reflect on your past behaviors and relationships, it's also crucial not to blame yourself entirely for the dynamic with a narcissistic partner. Narcissists are skilled at manipulating their partners and creating an unhealthy power dynamic.
However, self-reflection and personal growth are valuable processes. If you recognize any behaviors that you believe could have contributed to difficulties in past relationships, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor. They can help you explore your experiences, emotions, and personal growth in a healthy and constructive way.
Remember that the happiness a narcissist appears to have with a new supply is often a facade. Their pattern of unhealthy behavior tends to repeat with different partners. Focus on your own healing, growth, and building healthy relationships in the future, rather than worrying about what might be happening in the narcissist's new relationship.