Ignoring a narcissist while they are ignoring you can have various effects, depending on the specific narcissist and the dynamics of the relationship. Here are some possible outcomes:
Narcissistic Injury: Narcissists have fragile egos and a deep need for admiration and attention. When you ignore them, it can cause what is known as a "narcissistic injury." They might feel insulted, unimportant, or rejected, which can lead to anger or rage.
Escalation: Some narcissists might respond to being ignored by trying to reestablish control over the situation. They might intensify their efforts to gain your attention or manipulate you into giving them the validation they crave.
Hoovering: Narcissists often engage in hoovering, which means they attempt to draw you back into the relationship or interaction after you have distanced yourself from them. They might use various tactics, such as love bombing (excessive flattery and attention), guilt-tripping, or playing the victim to regain your attention and control.
Discard: If the narcissist perceives that ignoring them is a form of rejection, they might decide to discard you first. In this case, they might devalue you, criticize you, or even cut off contact with you as a way to protect their ego and regain a sense of control.
Temporary Improvement: In some cases, when you ignore a narcissist, they may temporarily improve their behavior to regain your attention and admiration. They might appear more charming, kind, or empathetic to draw you back in.
No Effect: It's worth noting that not all narcissists will react dramatically to being ignored. Some may not even notice or care, especially if they have other sources of validation and attention.
Keep in mind that dealing with a narcissist can be complex and challenging, and the specific response of a narcissist will depend on their individual personality traits, coping mechanisms, and the overall context of the relationship. If you're dealing with a narcissistic person and find their behavior harmful or toxic, it's essential to set clear boundaries and prioritize your well-being. In some cases, seeking support from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in navigating these complex dynamics.