It's important to clarify that narcissism is a complex personality disorder, and not all individuals with narcissistic tendencies may exhibit the same behaviors. Additionally, not all narcissists behave in the same way or follow a set pattern in their relationships. However, I can provide some general insights into how a narcissist might perceive and treat their targets.
Narcissists typically view people as objects or sources of validation rather than as individuals with their own needs and feelings. They seek admiration, attention, and control from others to bolster their fragile self-esteem. Their choice of targets is often based on how well these individuals fulfill their need for validation and admiration.
When a narcissist finds a new target, they might initially idealize them, showering them with attention, love, and flattery. However, over time, the narcissist's unrealistic expectations and need for constant validation can become exhausting for the new target. The new target might not live up to the narcissist's inflated expectations or might assert their own needs, which the narcissist may perceive as criticism or rejection.
In this scenario, the narcissist might compare the new target to their previous one, who, in their memory, might have been a source of abundant admiration and validation. The narcissist could start feeling nostalgic about the past target, who, in their mind, might now seem more appealing due to selective memory and idealization.
Narcissists also enjoy having a sense of power and control over their targets. If the new target starts to assert their independence or question the narcissist's behavior, the narcissist may feel threatened and uncomfortable. In contrast, they might perceive their previous target as more compliant and easier to manipulate, further fueling the desire to return to that person.
It's important to remember that being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally and psychologically harmful. Their manipulative and exploitative behavior can lead to significant emotional distress for their targets. If you suspect you are in a relationship with a narcissist or have experienced one, seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial in understanding and coping with the situation.