In the context of dealing with a narcissist, "flying monkeys" refers to individuals who support and enable the narcissist's behavior by aligning with them, defending them, or even carrying out their wishes to target the victims. The term "flying monkeys" comes from the flying monkeys in "The Wizard of Oz," who were minions of the Wicked Witch of the West and did her bidding.
There are several reasons why flying monkeys might help a narcissist despite being friends with the victims:
Manipulation and Deception: Narcissists are often skilled manipulators who can present a convincing narrative to others. They may portray themselves as victims or falsely accuse their actual victims of wrongdoing, leading the flying monkeys to believe that the narcissist is the one who needs support.
Loyalty and Enabling: Some individuals may feel loyal to the narcissist, perhaps due to a history of friendship or a perception of the narcissist as a charismatic or powerful figure. They may enable the narcissist's behavior by justifying it or turning a blind eye to their toxic actions.
Fear of Repercussions: Narcissists can be vindictive and prone to retaliation if someone dares to go against them. Flying monkeys might fear becoming the next target if they do not comply with the narcissist's wishes.
Desire for Validation and Acceptance: Flying monkeys may seek validation and approval from the narcissist. By supporting them, they hope to gain favor and avoid being on the receiving end of the narcissist's manipulative tactics.
Shared Traits or Beliefs: In some cases, flying monkeys may share certain traits or beliefs with the narcissist, making it easier for them to align with the narcissist's perspective and demonize the victims.
Ignorance or Lack of Awareness: Flying monkeys may not fully understand the dynamics of narcissism and the harm caused by the narcissist's behavior. They might be unaware of the emotional abuse and manipulation that the victims are experiencing.
Mistaken Sense of Justice: In certain situations, flying monkeys may genuinely believe that the narcissist is the one being wronged and that their actions are justified as a form of "defending" the narcissist.
It's essential to recognize that not all friends or associates of the narcissist will become flying monkeys, and some individuals might distance themselves from the narcissist once they understand the reality of the situation. Additionally, some flying monkeys may eventually come to realize the toxicity of the narcissist's behavior and break away from their involvement.
Dealing with narcissistic abuse and flying monkeys can be emotionally challenging for the victims. If you find yourself facing such a situation, seeking support from friends, family, or a qualified mental health professional can be helpful in navigating this difficult dynamic and protecting your well-being.