Narcissists often have complex and contradictory emotional responses to various situations, including divorces. Several factors can contribute to the anger and frustration your soon-to-be ex-husband is displaying, even though he seemingly got what he wanted:
Loss of Control: Narcissists have a strong desire for control over their partners and their lives. Even if they initiated the divorce, they might feel a loss of control over the situation and you, which can trigger anger and resentment.
Narcissistic Injury: The divorce may be perceived as a personal attack on the narcissist's ego and self-worth. They might interpret it as a failure or rejection, leading to feelings of wounded pride and anger.
Ego Bruising: While your husband may have wanted the divorce to gain freedom and pursue other interests, seeing you move on with your life and being happy without him could bruise his ego. Narcissists often have a need to feel superior, and your ability to find happiness without them challenges that perception.
Lack of Narcissistic Supply: Divorce often means a loss of the primary source of narcissistic supply – the attention, admiration, and validation they receive from their partners. This loss can leave them feeling empty, leading to anger and frustration.
Fear of Abandonment: Underneath the narcissist's grandiose facade lies deep-seated insecurity and fear of being abandoned. Even if they initiated the divorce, they may fear that you will forget about them or find someone better, leading to jealousy and anger.
Manipulative Tactics: Some narcissists use anger as a manipulative tactic to try and control the narrative of the divorce or to provoke an emotional response from you. They may believe that by being angry and difficult, they can force you to reconsider the divorce or give them more attention.
Entitlement: Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement and may believe that they should always get what they want. The divorce may not have gone exactly as they planned, leading to frustration and anger.
It's important to remember that narcissists have a distorted view of relationships and emotions, and their behavior may not always align with rational or healthy responses. When dealing with a narcissistic ex-partner, it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and set boundaries to protect yourself from further manipulation and toxicity.
If you find the situation overwhelming or challenging to handle on your own, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional who can help you navigate the process of divorce and healing.