When a narcissist discards a partner or ends a relationship, their reactions and feelings about past special moments can vary depending on their individual personality and coping mechanisms. However, there are some common patterns often observed in narcissistic individuals:
Idealization vs. Devaluation: Narcissists tend to idealize their partners during the love-bombing or honeymoon phase of the relationship. During this time, they might create cherished memories together and view the partner as perfect and extraordinary. However, once the idealization phase ends, and the devaluation phase begins, the narcissist's perception of the partner changes drastically. They may start to devalue and criticize the partner, and those once-cherished memories might be tainted by negative emotions.
Lack of Empathy and Emotional Connection: Narcissists typically have a limited capacity for genuine empathy and emotional connection. As a result, they might not experience the same depth of emotion or fondness when reminiscing about past special moments as a non-narcissistic person would. Their focus may be more on themselves and how those moments served their needs rather than on the emotional bond they shared with their partner.
Revisionist History: Narcissists often manipulate memories to fit their narrative or serve their self-image. They might reinterpret past events or romantic trips to make themselves look better or to justify their actions, even if it involves distorting the truth.
Selective Memory: Narcissists may selectively remember only certain aspects of the past to suit their current emotional state or agenda. Positive memories that could evoke feelings of vulnerability or emotional connection might be suppressed or minimized, while negative memories might be exaggerated.
Projection: Instead of reflecting on their own behavior in the past relationship, narcissists may project their negative feelings and actions onto their former partner. They might blame the partner for everything that went wrong, conveniently absolving themselves of any responsibility.
Emotional Detachment: After discarding a partner, a narcissist is more likely to emotionally detach and move on quickly to seek new sources of validation and admiration. This emotional detachment can lead to a lack of sentimental attachment to past memories.
It's important to understand that narcissistic behavior varies among individuals, and not all narcissists will exhibit the same patterns. Additionally, narcissists might also experience cognitive dissonance, where they simultaneously hold conflicting beliefs or feelings about past memories and relationships, leading to further emotional complexity.
In summary, while there might be exceptions, it is common for narcissists to view past memories in a more negative light after a relationship ends, especially during the devaluation and discard phases. Any positive or cherished memories might be overshadowed by their negative traits, lack of empathy, and self-centered perspective.