Yes, what you described is a form of manipulation known as "gaslighting." Gaslighting is a tactic used by manipulative individuals, including narcissists, to make others doubt their own perceptions, memories, and reality. In this case, your ex-narcissist may have lied about getting married to evoke a reaction from you, such as jealousy, sadness, or a desire to reconnect. Gaslighters often use false information or deceptive statements to control and destabilize their victims emotionally.
Gaslighting can have a profound impact on the victim's self-esteem and mental well-being. It can create confusion, self-doubt, and emotional turmoil. By manipulating the truth and feeding you false information, the narcissist attempts to maintain power and control over you, even after the relationship has ended.
It's important to recognize gaslighting for what it is and take steps to protect yourself from its effects. If you are dealing with a manipulative person, consider these strategies:
Trust your instincts: If something feels off or inconsistent in the person's statements or actions, don't dismiss your gut feelings.
Limit contact: Minimize or cut off contact with the manipulative individual to reduce their ability to manipulate and control you.
Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and an objective perspective.
Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and stick to them to protect yourself from further manipulation.
Build self-awareness and self-confidence: Developing a strong sense of self and confidence can make it harder for manipulators to influence your emotions and decisions.
Educate yourself: Learn more about gaslighting, manipulation, and narcissism to better understand what you've experienced and how to cope with it.
Remember that manipulation and gaslighting are unhealthy and toxic behaviors. Prioritize your well-being and surround yourself with supportive and caring individuals who respect and value you for who you are.