Narcissists are skilled manipulators and can use various tactics to abuse and control their victims. They often employ emotionally manipulative language to demean, devalue, and manipulate others to maintain their sense of superiority and power. Here are some common things narcissists might say to people they abuse:
Gaslighting: "You're just being too sensitive," "You're imagining things," or "That never happened, you must be mistaken." Narcissists may deny or distort reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions and sanity.
Blame-shifting: "It's your fault," "You made me do it," or "If only you had done (or not done) that, I wouldn't have reacted this way." They often shift blame onto their victims to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Criticism and insults: "You're worthless," "You're stupid," "Nobody else would want you," or "You'll never amount to anything." Narcissists frequently employ verbal abuse to undermine their victims' self-esteem and create dependency.
Love-bombing and devaluation: At the beginning of a relationship, narcissists may excessively praise and shower their targets with affection (love-bombing). Later, they may abruptly devalue and criticize the same person, leaving them confused and desperate for approval.
Silent treatment: Ignoring the victim and giving them the cold shoulder to punish or control them emotionally.
Emotional manipulation: "If you really loved me, you would..." or "You're hurting me by not doing what I want." Narcissists often play on their victims' emotions to get them to comply with their wishes.
Invalidating feelings: "You're too sensitive," "You're overreacting," or "Stop making a big deal out of nothing." Narcissists may minimize their victims' feelings and emotions to make them feel inadequate or unimportant.
Threats and intimidation: "If you leave me, I'll ruin your life," or "I'll take the kids away from you." Narcissists might use threats to keep their victims under control and instill fear.
Guilt-tripping: "You're abandoning me," "I sacrificed so much for you," or "You owe me." They may try to make their victims feel guilty for asserting their needs or boundaries.
Triangulation: Creating drama or conflict between their victims and others by talking negatively about one to the other, leading to confusion and division among the people involved.
It's essential to recognize these manipulative tactics and seek help if you suspect you or someone you know is experiencing abuse from a narcissist. Psychological and emotional abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse and should not be taken lightly. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor or therapist.