While the characteristics of the "new supply" sought by a narcissist can vary depending on the individual narcissist's preferences and motivations, it is not always the case that the new supply must be young, successful, smart, and beautiful. Narcissists' preferences for their new sources of admiration and validation can be influenced by various factors, including their own insecurities, desires for control, and the need to feel superior.
Here are some considerations to keep in mind:
Idealization and Devaluation: Narcissists often go through a cycle of idealizing and devaluing their targets. During the idealization phase, they may lavish praise and attention on their chosen person, seeing them as perfect and meeting all their needs. In this stage, they may be drawn to someone they perceive as "young, successful, smart, and beautiful" based on societal standards of desirability.
Narcissistic Supply: Narcissists seek narcissistic supply, which refers to the admiration, attention, and validation they receive from others. While a younger, successful, smart, and beautiful person may provide significant narcissistic supply, it doesn't mean they exclusively target individuals with these traits. Narcissists may also seek out those who are vulnerable, easily influenced, or willing to cater to their needs.
Control and Manipulation: For some narcissists, the focus may be more on finding someone they can control and manipulate rather than solely on external traits. They may seek out individuals who are emotionally dependent, lack self-esteem, or have a history of being in abusive relationships.
Empowerment and Status: Some narcissists may be attracted to individuals with high social status, wealth, or power, as being associated with such people can enhance their own sense of importance and prestige.
Personal Insecurities: Narcissists may choose partners who possess qualities they wish they had themselves, such as intelligence, success, or beauty. By being with someone they perceive as having these traits, they might gain a sense of validation by proxy.
Changing Preferences: Narcissists' preferences for their supply can also change over time or vary based on their current emotional state or life circumstances.
It's important to note that while these patterns can be observed in some narcissists, not all narcissists fit this mold, and individual behavior can vary widely. Additionally, potential "new supplies" should not be blamed or judged for their involvement with a narcissist, as narcissists can be skilled manipulators who initially present themselves as charming and appealing partners.
If you suspect that you or someone you know may be in a relationship with a narcissist, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor with experience in dealing with narcissistic personality traits can be beneficial in understanding the dynamics and finding ways to cope and set healthy boundaries.