When a narcissist tells you "I just want you to be happy," it is essential to approach this statement with caution and skepticism. Narcissists are known for using manipulation and charm to get what they want and maintain control over others. Here are a few possible reasons why a narcissist might say this:
Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled manipulators, and saying things like "I just want you to be happy" can be a tactic to gain your trust, sympathy, or compliance. They may use this statement to make you feel indebted to them or to make their own actions seem less harmful.
Appearing benevolent: Narcissists often have a need to be seen as caring and compassionate individuals. By expressing concern for your happiness, they can create a facade of being selfless and supportive, even though their true intentions might be self-serving.
Maintaining control: Making you believe they care about your happiness can help them maintain control over you. If you think they have your best interests at heart, you may be more likely to follow their lead and be more susceptible to their manipulation.
Gaslighting: Narcissists frequently engage in gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation where they make you question your own reality and perceptions. By stating that they want your happiness, they might later use this against you, claiming that their harmful behaviors were never intended to hurt you but were meant to support your happiness instead.
Projection: Sometimes, narcissists project their own desires onto others. They might think they are entitled to happiness, so they assume that everyone else should also prioritize their happiness. It's a way of deflecting responsibility for their actions and emotions.
Idealization phase: In the early stages of a relationship or during the idealization phase, narcissists often put on a charming and loving persona to win you over. Telling you they want your happiness fits into this idealization strategy to make you believe they are the perfect partner.
It is crucial to remain cautious and critically evaluate the actions and behaviors of someone who claims to want your happiness, especially if they display other narcissistic traits or engage in manipulative tactics. Remember that genuine care and concern for your happiness should be consistently demonstrated through actions, not just empty words. If you suspect you are dealing with a narcissist or any other toxic individual, it may be wise to seek support and guidance from friends, family, or a mental health professional.