While it may seem contradictory that narcissists can easily forget about people who are out of sight, they may still keep some ex-partners or past connections around for various reasons. Here are a few potential explanations for this behavior:
Need for Admiration and Validation: Narcissists crave admiration and validation from others. Keeping ex-partners around, especially if these individuals still express admiration or longing for the narcissist, can be a way for the narcissist to bolster their ego and sense of self-importance.
Maintaining a Sense of Control: By keeping exes in their orbit, narcissists may feel a sense of control over these individuals. They may enjoy the feeling of having someone who still desires them or seeks their approval, and this can boost their self-esteem and sense of power.
Future "Supply": Narcissists often view people as sources of supply - individuals who provide them with attention, admiration, and other emotional resources. Keeping exes as part of their network can serve as a backup supply for times when their primary sources of attention are lacking or when the narcissist feels insecure.
Avoiding Rejection: Some narcissists fear rejection and abandonment. By keeping ex-partners in their lives, they may feel a sense of security, knowing that they still have people who are emotionally invested in them.
Potential for Manipulation: Narcissists are skilled at manipulation and may use their past relationships as a means to manipulate or control their current partners. They may bring up ex-partners to create jealousy, insecurity, or guilt, thereby maintaining power in the current relationship.
Difficulty Letting Go of Control: Narcissists often struggle with letting go of control in various aspects of their lives, including relationships. Cutting off exes completely would mean relinquishing some control over those individuals, which can be challenging for a narcissist.
Fear of Being Alone: Narcissists may have a deep-seated fear of being alone or abandoned. Keeping ex-partners around can provide a sense of security and the illusion of having a stable support network.
It's important to note that not all narcissists behave in the same way, and individual motivations can vary widely. Additionally, some narcissists may eventually discard exes entirely if they no longer serve any purpose or if the narcissist finds new sources of supply that fulfill their needs better.
For those dealing with a narcissist in their life, it's crucial to recognize these patterns and consider setting boundaries or seeking professional help to cope with the challenges that arise from such relationships.