In families with a narcissistic parent, dynamics can be quite complex, and roles such as the scapegoat and golden child are common. When you, as the scapegoat child, decide to go no contact, it can lead to shifts in the family dynamics, but it's important to understand that the dynamics are not fixed and may change over time.
Here are some possible scenarios that could happen when you go no contact:
Golden Child Becomes the New Scapegoat: If you were the primary target of your narcissistic mother's negative behavior, and you are no longer present in the family dynamic, your absence might lead to the golden child taking on some of the scapegoat role. The narcissistic mother may redirect her negative behaviors and criticism towards the remaining siblings.
Golden Child Continues in Their Role: In some cases, the golden child might continue to receive preferential treatment and validation from the narcissistic mother. They may still be idealized and put on a pedestal, while the focus of negative attention shifts elsewhere, such as to another family member or even external sources like friends or colleagues.
Shared Scapegoat Role: If you had a close relationship with one of your siblings, the narcissistic mother might focus her negative behavior on both of you together. She may view the sibling you were close to as an enabler or someone who is complicit in your decision to go no contact.
New Scapegoat Emerges: In some cases, if you have a larger family, a new sibling may end up taking on the scapegoat role. This could happen if the narcissistic mother feels the need to have someone to blame or project her negative emotions onto.
It's important to note that narcissistic family dynamics can be unpredictable and can vary widely from one family to another. Additionally, the dynamics may change over time as circumstances evolve. The best course of action is to focus on your own healing and well-being by maintaining no contact and seeking support from friends, therapists, or support groups. It's essential to establish healthy boundaries and prioritize your mental and emotional health during this process.